It’s been a while since I have written here, or anywhere for that matter. The other day one of my favorite songs came on which inspired me to reflect and to write this blog. I added the song in the youtube section here on my site….”Drive” by Incubus.
For me personally, I had a lot to work thru in my life with different things lately, and at work it has been quite busy as well. For 8 months now I have been working full time in our Dorval yard as a certified driver trainer, and I/we have had some big challenges to meet and overcome within our company as well. One theme that stands out from all the experiences is: ‘who or what is driving and in control?’ Is it the (road) rage? Anxieties? Fears? Addictions? Meds? Lack of self care or compassion for others? Or ? Everybody has their own challenges, you can fill in the space with whatever comes to mind. The point is: ‘Who’ is driving You.
For years I have been telling my trainees “don’t allow your emotions to take the wheel, YOU are the one that should be driving when you are in the truck. Be neutral, do not engage with the crazies and stay as calm as possible so you can respond and drive safely”. When I am in my truck, whether in the drivers seat or seated in the passenger seat with a trainee driving, it is like second nature to me and I have no problem following my own advice. But in other areas of my life – non work related – it is hard to do. Granted, part of it is ‘female and age related’ changes, but still, not all of it. It hasn’t been ‘ME’ driving for the last while in my life.
The other day, a guy came for a road test which is a normal and almost daily activity for me. As soon as I met him in the cafeteria, I had an internal reaction (a strong ‘no I don’t want to do this’) to which I didn’t fully understand, it didn’t ‘match’ the outside interaction with him. He was smiley, seemingly kind and respectful, and spoke of having 20 something years driving experience with a straight truck in Africa. But, “I’ve been around the block once or twice” as my dad would say, and I sat with my reaction and the info shared and didn’t let any of it ‘drive’ me. I observed, stayed alert and did my job screening the guy and testing his skills. After he almost got into 2 accidents within 15 minutes due to driving too fast and recklessly, I had enough. For the first time ever in doing the road tests, I had directed him to pull over and told him to get out of the drivers seat and I drove back to the yard while giving him some consciousness. He had then defiantly said he has been a taxi driver for over 10 years as well. I replied “ya, well, that explains everything”.
I’ve shared my perspective before on how I noticed that traffic and road rage has gotten worse over the last few years. Well for sure it will continue to do so if we as a society don’t stop to take a moment to make sure that the best parts of us are ‘behind the wheel’, both when physically driving our vehicles and when ‘driving’ our lives. Trust me, I know it is sometimes super difficult to do so, and you may feel ‘who really gives a shit, nobody else cares’. But I can honestly say there are lots of people out there, me included, who do care and who are trying to make a difference, we just need to open our minds and eyes to the goodness life has to offer. To quote the song which is fitting for me today…. “I’m beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found. Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes”.
Beautifully written Jen. This is exactly what I am exploring in my life right now….who is driving? What part of me has the wheel? How do I shift when the one driving is the one who shouldn’t be driving?
The song truly tells a perfect story. I also love the video. He is drawing himself…it shows me he is creating himself. That hit right for me.
Thanks Anna!! I love the video too, how he is creating and recreating himself, and constantly shifting and going with the flow while being the main driver.
Very well written Jen, as always, honest and to the point. You should write a truckers oath before they become licensed
drivers. My husband has
been a trucker for over 40 years and shares your feelings of safety etc. He has
never had not even 1 accident, came close a few times through no fault of his but careless drivers. Keep training safe drivers and keep teaching them Who is behind the Wheel! Proud of you Cuz!
Thanks Cuz!! Wow that’s awesome, good job on the no accidents!! My friend and fellow trucker Ross messaged me this morning, he had read my blog and said “We as professional drivers must control ourselves at all times, and pay attention because not only are we driving for ourselves, we are driving for others as well”. My sentiments exactly.
Interesting idea about the truckers oath, I’ll check into it!!
Very well written and though provoking, Jen.
Thank you Dawn!
Very in-depth and thought provoking! Beautifully written.
I especially like the part about asking who’s in control, not letting your emotions lead the way. I think that’s true in any situation. I find that taking a deep breath is essential. It’s not easy times that we live in and we have to learn how to get along and not react to each other’s reactions.
True, it’s not easy and we do have to learn to get along and not react to everything in life. It is a big lesson, and not just with driving.
Thank you!
Nicely written Jen Love Dad
Thanks Dad!!
Well said!
Thank you!!